Choosing a Spouse
The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Out of the ground the LORD God formed every animal of the field, and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. Whatever the man called every living creature became its name. The man gave names to all livestock, and to the birds of the sky, and to every animal of the field; but for man there was not found a helper comparable to him. The LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. As the man slept, he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. The LORD God made a woman from the rib which he had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh. She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man will leave his father and his mother, and will join with his wife, and they will be one flesh.
- Genesis 2:18-24
Abraham was old, and well advanced in age. The LORD had blessed Abraham in all things. Abraham said to his servant, the elder of his house, who ruled over all that he had, “Please put your hand under my thigh. I will make you swear by the LORD, the God of heaven and the God of the earth, that you shall not take a wife for my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I live. But you shall go to my country, and to my relatives, and take a wife for my son Isaac.”
- Genesis 24:1-4
He said, “LORD, the God of my master Abraham, please give me success today, and show kindness to my master Abraham. Behold, I am standing by the spring of water. The daughters of the men of the city are coming out to draw water. Let it happen, that the young lady to whom I will say, ‘Please let down your pitcher, that I may drink,’ then she says, ‘Drink, and I will also give your camels a drink,’—let her be the one you have appointed for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master.” Before he had finished speaking, behold, Rebekah came out, who was born to Bethuel the son of Milcah, the wife of Nahor, Abraham’s brother, with her pitcher on her shoulder. The young lady was very beautiful to look at, a virgin. No man had known her. She went down to the spring, filled her pitcher, and came up. The servant ran to meet her, and said, “Please give me a drink, a little water from your pitcher.” She said, “Drink, my lord.” She hurried, and let down her pitcher on her hand, and gave him a drink. When she had finished giving him a drink, she said, “I will also draw for your camels, until they have finished drinking.” She hurried, and emptied her pitcher into the trough, and ran again to the well to draw, and drew for all his camels. The man looked steadfastly at her, remaining silent, to know whether the LORD had made his journey prosperous or not.
- Genesis 24:12-21
Then Laban and Bethuel answered, “The thing proceeds from the LORD. We can’t speak to you bad or good. Behold, Rebekah is before you. Take her, and go, and let her be your master’s son’s wife, as the LORD has spoken.” When Abraham’s servant heard their words, he bowed himself down to the earth to the LORD. The servant brought out jewels of silver, and jewels of gold, and clothing, and gave them to Rebekah. He also gave precious things to her brother and her mother. They ate and drank, he and the men who were with him, and stayed all night. They rose up in the morning, and he said, “Send me away to my master.” Her brother and her mother said, “Let the young lady stay with us a few days, at least ten. After that she will go.” He said to them, “Don’t hinder me, since the LORD has prospered my way. Send me away that I may go to my master.” They said, “We will call the young lady, and ask her.” They called Rebekah, and said to her, “Will you go with this man?” She said, “I will go.” They sent away Rebekah, their sister, with her nurse, Abraham’s servant, and his men. They blessed Rebekah, and said to her, “Our sister, may you be the mother of thousands of ten thousands, and let your offspring possess the gate of those who hate them.” Rebekah arose with her ladies. They rode on the camels, and followed the man. The servant took Rebekah, and went his way. Isaac came from the way of Beer Lahai Roi, for he lived in the land of the South. Isaac went out to meditate in the field at the evening. He lifted up his eyes and looked. Behold, there were camels coming. Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she got off the camel. She said to the servant, “Who is the man who is walking in the field to meet us?” The servant said, “It is my master.” She took her veil, and covered herself. The servant told Isaac all the things that he had done. Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife. He loved her. So Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.
- Genesis 24:50-67
You shall not make marriages with them. You shall not give your daughter to his son, nor shall you take his daughter for your son. For that would turn away your sons from following me, that they may serve other gods. So the LORD’s anger would be kindled against you, and he would destroy you quickly.
- Deuteronomy 7:3-4
Samson went down to Timnah, and saw a woman in Timnah of the daughters of the Philistines. He came up, and told his father and his mother, saying, “I have seen a woman in Timnah of the daughters of the Philistines. Now therefore get her for me as my wife.” Then his father and his mother said to him, “Isn’t there a woman among your brothers’ daughters, or among all my people, that you go to take a wife of the uncircumcised Philistines?” Samson said to his father, “Get her for me, for she pleases me well.” But his father and his mother didn’t know that it was of the LORD; for he sought an occasion against the Philistines. Now at that time the Philistines ruled over Israel.
- Judges 14:1-4
He said, “You are blessed by the LORD, my daughter. You have shown more kindness in the latter end than at the beginning, because you didn’t follow young men, whether poor or rich. Now, my daughter, don’t be afraid. I will do to you all that you say; for all the city of my people knows that you are a worthy woman.
- Ruth 3:10-11
A worthy woman is the crown of her husband, but a disgraceful wife is as rottenness in his bones.
- Proverbs 12:4
Whoever finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor of the LORD.
- Proverbs 18:22
House and riches are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.
- Proverbs 19:14
It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop than to share a house with a contentious woman.
- Proverbs 21:9
It is better to dwell in a desert land, than with a contentious and fretful woman.
- Proverbs 21:19
It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop than to share a house with a contentious woman.
- Proverbs 25:24
A continual dropping on a rainy day and a contentious wife are alike: restraining her is like restraining the wind, or like grasping oil in his right hand.
- Proverbs 27:15-16
Who can find a worthy woman? For her value is far above rubies. The heart of her husband trusts in her. He shall have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and works eagerly with her hands. She is like the merchant ships. She brings her bread from afar. She rises also while it is yet night, gives food to her household, and portions for her servant girls. She considers a field, and buys it. With the fruit of her hands, she plants a vineyard. She arms her waist with strength, and makes her arms strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp doesn’t go out by night. She lays her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. She opens her arms to the poor; yes, she extends her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household, for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She makes for herself carpets of tapestry. Her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is respected in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and delivers sashes to the merchant. Strength and dignity are her clothing. She laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom. Kind instruction is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household, and doesn’t eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed. Her husband also praises her: “Many women do noble things, but you excel them all.” Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain; but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands! Let her works praise her in the gates!
- Proverbs 31:10-31
Yet you say, ‘Why?’ Because the LORD has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and the wife of your covenant. Did he not make you one, although he had the residue of the Spirit? Why one? He sought godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let no one deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.
- Malachi 2:14-15
A wife is bound by law for as long as her husband lives; but if the husband is dead, she is free to be married to whomever she desires, only in the Lord. But she is happier if she stays as she is, in my judgment, and I think that I also have God’s Spirit.
- 1 Corinthians 7:39-40
Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship do righteousness and iniquity have? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness? What agreement does Christ have with Belial? Or what portion does a believer have with an unbeliever? What agreement does a temple of God have with idols? For you are a temple of the living God. Even as God said, “I will dwell in them and walk in them. I will be their God and they will be my people.”
- 2 Corinthians 6:14-16
Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the assembly, being himself the savior of the body. But as the assembly is subject to Christ, so let the wives also be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the assembly to himself gloriously, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without defect. Even so husbands also ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. For no man ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord also does the assembly, because we are members of his body, of his flesh and bones. “For this cause a man will leave his father and mother and will be joined to his wife. Then the two will become one flesh.” This mystery is great, but I speak concerning Christ and the assembly. Nevertheless each of you must also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
- Ephesians 5:22-33
In the same way, wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, so that, even if any don’t obey the Word, they may be won by the behavior of their wives without a word, seeing your pure behavior in fear. Let your beauty come not from the outward adorning of braiding your hair, and of wearing gold ornaments or of putting on fine clothing, but from the hidden person of the heart, in the incorruptible adornment of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in God’s sight. For this is how in the past the holy women who hoped in God also adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands. So Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose children you now are if you do well and are not put in fear by any terror. You husbands, in the same way, live with your wives according to knowledge, giving honor to the woman as to the weaker vessel, as also being joint heirs of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
- 1 Peter 3:1-7
